I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
