No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
