No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
