fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
