ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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