Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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