Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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