Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your tits are I can't wait for
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
