The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
