4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
