We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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