I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
