Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
