How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
