had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize