i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
