remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize