he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize