sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
