garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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