Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
