yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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