So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need to sanitize my soul.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
