we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize