I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
