I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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