im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
