Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just gargled with NyQuil
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
There's even glitter on my cock...
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