apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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