Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
worst night to have a conscience
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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