so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
