you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
