So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize