There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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