She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
