he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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