You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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