I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
