You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
