This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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