I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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