i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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