Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
