hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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