Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
