this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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