Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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