also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
