it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
