i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
PANTIES FOUND
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