ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize