he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize