4 words: hood of his car
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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