the day after is always just damage control
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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