You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
