Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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