i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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