just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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