we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
