Will you blow on my dice?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
