i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
